Abortion, life, politics, protesting

Right to be free of a parasite

I don’t have a uterus, but I do like to share my feelings. I’m furious and afraid.

Imagine sitting in a Discord voice call, playing Fortnite, and learning about the leaked draft that shows the Supreme Court’s intention to overturn Roe v. Wade. Just a bit surreal. Not too long after, I popped off of the voice call to go comfort my very distraught uterus-having partner. We talked about a fun short story idea: imagine a world in which the government forces people to have children that they do not want (perhaps leading to children that do not want to exist—put a pin in that), and then those same people turn their children into literal weapons (e.g., bombs) against said government.

That was last night. Today, I am supposed to vote in the Ohio midterm primaries. I’ll probably be picking up a Republican ballot to choose the lesser evils of this very red state.

A six-week abortion ban is already waiting.

My mother is pro-choice. She worked at Planned Parenthood. She was there for Abortion Thursdays—that was our term, using humor to cope. There were often protestors/morons outside. My mother held the hands of many people as they made a hard yet courageous decision about their own body.

I never heard about people excited to terminate their pregnancy.

You think supply chain issues are bad now? Just you wait until fetus prices go through the roof. I’m sure we’ll see many starving atheists. Damn atheist millennials and their avofetus toast.

Damn religious zealots and trying to force their shitty morals on others. Don’t call that thing an unborn baby or unborn life. That’s wacky propaganda. I don’t feel bad when I ejaculate and all of my sperm goes to die. I don’t feel bad when people have their periods and shed unfertilized eggs. I’ve killed a lot of cellular life, I’m sure. I’ve squashed ants. If I had a parasite feeding off of my body, I would hope to retain the right to terminate said parasite. Ah, but…

There’s that funny argument of, like, well, you had sex, you took the risk, you knew the potential consequence, so, it’s too late, and also fuck you. But why? If I walk through the woods and get some ticks on me, I kill them. I don’t throw my hands in the air and say, “Welp. I knew the risks. I shall let them feed on me until they die.” Or for eighteen years. That’s my body. Whether or not I took a certain risk, I do not consent to a parasite using me as a host.

 

Right to be free of a host

I don’t have a uterus, but I do wish that I had been aborted. I’m furious and afraid.

My mother chose not to abort me, and I say that explicitly because she had been considering it. As I know the story, my biological father Y-chromosome donor dipped when my mother said she was pregnant, and my mom told me that, at the time, she felt too old to get an abortion. What in the fuck does that even mean? My intent is not to shame my mother—not right this second, at least. It’s frustrating to imagine the idea of being too old to get an abortion as some kind of deep-seated anti-abortion propaganda that has been fed to people, leading to even greater hesitancy in even those who are very pro-choice.

My (adopted) father—my real dad—really liked this idea that life is a gift. I know why he feels/felt that way, but it caused a lot of conflict between us, especially when I was younger, more depressed, and quite suicidal. Life didn’t feel like a gift. Even if it was, I never asked for it. Return to that pin. I am a child that does not want to exist. Mostly, I don’t want to die right now, but I do wish that I had never been born.

So, fuck you, mom, for making me. I did not consent to being born. Isn’t that why protecting the “rights” of a fetus is funny? No one knows what they actually want. No one can ask them. Even if you could, they wouldn’t be well-informed enough to make actual decisions.

Tough shit, I guess.

 

Protests, context, nuance

Yeah, I’m just furious and afraid. So, I’ll go protest. If it turns into more than that…

No, no. I wouldn’t support violent protests, right? I mean, I condemned what those dangerous morons did on January 6th, didn’t I? Thus, for everyone’s sake, I must seem simple and consistent. If violence is bad in one scenario, then it must be bad in all scenarios. Right?

Lack of good education and an abundance of right-wing and/or fascist propaganda sure is taking its toll on the United States. This kind of thought really makes me mad, and I want to sound combative, but, if you’re reading my blog, I’m likely preaching to the choir.

Listen, no one has to be simple. Violence for a good cause can be good. Well, what makes a cause good? I do. No, seriously, I get to decide. I do not believe in a supreme moral arbiter—not God, not the universe, not humanity. I don’t even really believe in morality. I don’t have to appear consistent. I can do things just because I want to. They have the right to protest, I have the right to shut them down. I have the right to protest, they have the right to shut me down. But I will not be stopped. I will not be quiet. I will not sit down. Because I’m sure they’re saying the exact same things. And, yes, I did just use a very generic they which makes that feel lame, but you know what I mean.

Waiting for things to work out because I think that they’re good isn’t helping.

Because who gets to decide what’s good and right? Those with power. Full stop. I used to be terrified of that idea. The way I thought about it in the past, I imagined that meant that minority groups could never have any kind of power. But they can. Obviously. For “good” and “bad” reasons. Alt-right fascists are a very loud minority that are gaining power. Gay people are a minority, but they were granted the right to marriage. How does this happen?

Minority groups (seem to—from my perspective) rely on allyship and complacency. Those are honestly basically the same because those who are complacent are basically allies in the sense that they aren’t opposing you. (I’ve heard that silence is violence.) Just look at the GOP.

Power is key. Rights can be granted—or they can be taken.